Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?

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(208): On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you? http://tfl.nu/5voi

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(765): View more from Indiana

Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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(765): Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug. http://tfl.nu/xwvw

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

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(815): Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again. http://tfl.nu/ev5h

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(518): View more from New York

I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

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(518): I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how. http://tfl.nu/ue8l

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(513): View more from Ohio

She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.

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(513): She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand. http://tfl.nu/7zl1

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car

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(617): we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car http://tfl.nu/ipv6

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(740): View more from Ohio

You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar

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(740): You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar http://tfl.nu/iv8a

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(316): View more from Kansas

You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.

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(316): You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times. http://tfl.nu/0lcm

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(61): View more from Australia

You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.

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(61): You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/yu51

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(516): View more from New York

Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

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(516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?

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(313): Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing? http://tfl.nu/tcaq

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(816): View more from Missouri

He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.

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(816): He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger. http://tfl.nu/btv5

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(240): View more from Maryland

You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.

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(240): You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over. http://tfl.nu/m9ag

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.

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(202): She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family. http://tfl.nu/nmso

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(214): View more from Texas

I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary

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(214): I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary http://tfl.nu/wcin

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