Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
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how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."