He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize