Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My bed smells like the plague
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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