Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
