Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Congratulations! We have a period
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