ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
