I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
should my penis look like a turkey
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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