# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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