I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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