Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
