you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
