so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
