I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize