Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize