can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
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We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
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I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The adults are the big ones right?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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