i think my mom watched the whole time
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
