...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize