If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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