I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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