READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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