we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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