I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
