He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i came on her dog
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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