Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
