atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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