Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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