And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
