Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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