This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
