you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
