He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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