Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
