Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
