i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
