Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
