sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
