I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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