He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
