wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
