im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
