I need help removing her.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
