We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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