omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
