maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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