Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
