When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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