next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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