we have officially lost it.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
