Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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