Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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