I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dick very happy bro
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
