you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
