Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
