i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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