I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
