is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just found a bag of teeth...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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