Sponge bath it is.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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