i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
