R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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