are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize